Coping With The Holidays

by Lyn Zahorik

For many people, the Holiday Season of 2020 will not be what Hallmark movies are made of. Some people will be full of joy and love during this season while others will be managing the disappointments of not being able to be with families or take part in what have been usual Holiday festivities such as attending the Holiday Parade, the local craft fairs, Christmas plays, concerts and festive parties.
 

Yes, the holidays usually are very busy with “obligations”. Planning and preparation can almost become an additional part-time job. Family gatherings are discussed weeks in advance while negotiating around people’s individual schedules. Food needs to be planned out that contains not only the traditional favorites but takes into consideration options for family members with special dietary needs. Shopping stretches out for days as the perfect gifts have to be found and wrapped. Halls have to be decked, trees decorated and outside lights hung. Cookies must be baked and chocolates purchased so that the Christmas Cookie plate never runs out of treats.

Perhaps this year it would be helpful to appreciate the reprieve social distancing is giving us from having all the “obligations”.

Think about what you most enjoy about the Holidays. Find the parts you like and celebrate those.

Consider what are your most favorite Christmas decorations? Does every corner of your home need decorations? Maybe this year you might choose to only put up a tree and Nativity set. Focus on these pieces. Spend time gazing at them remembering and praying about the joy they bring to you and the story that they tell your heart.

Sometimes “just enough” is perfect, you will be amazed by how much you can let go.

It will be normal for all of us to feel a tinge of the Christmas blues during this holiday season, especially if things feel like they are falling a little short. After all the Christmas cards we send always say things like, “May you have the best Christmas ever.” But the reality we may be experiencing this year is more of “Have an ok Christmas and a pretty good New Year.”

There is a lot of information available on how to cope with disappointment or anxiety during the holidays, but the most basic strategies include:

• Don’t berate yourself for having sad feelings, accept them, have a good cry when you need to. Share how you are feeling with people you trust and who care about you.
• Take care of your body. Excessive drinking, overeating, and poor sleep often occur during the holidays.
• Stay connected. If you can’t be physically connected make phone calls, send cards (perhaps with some photos tucked in) and help one another plan virtual meetings.
• Pray for those you love. Bishop Stephen Parkes of the Diocese of Savanah says “We may not be able to meet each other in person every day, but we can meet each other every day in prayer.
• Know your limits. It is OK to say “no thank-you”.

This year with so many parishes going to live streaming we have the opportunity to celebrate Christmas with the universal church. During each Sunday of Advent consider sharing Mass with another Parish in our Diocese, in a different State, or even different country. You can attend Christmas Eve & Christmas Day Masses virtually with your parish family here at Most Blessed Sacrament but also if you wish with St. “Whomever” in Timbuktu.

Enjoy the Christmas beauty and ritual expressed in a variety of Parishes. We are a one holy catholic and apostolic church in both our unity and in our diversity. Be at peace with things as they are.

The holidays this year don’t have to be exactly like the holidays of the past to be meaningful and memorable. Think about the new possibilities that may be there. Embrace the gift of having some alone, quiet time, to ponder the great mystery of Jesus come among us. Read the good news in Luke 2: 1-29. Perhaps, if we can make ourselves very still and quiet, 2020 will be the year when we once again can hear the Christmas angels sing.